In The Four Agreements, bestselling author don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.
The Four Agreements are:
- Be impeccable with your words
- Don’t take anything personally
- Don’t make assumptions
- Always do your best
So basically, that’s how to be free and happy. Following these agreements seriously sounds like it could solve SO many of the world’s problems, and so many individuals’ problems.
Be impeccable with your words: Say what you mean, and mean what you say
So basically, don’t lie. Don’t oversell or undersell yourself. If you make a promise or give your word, keep it. Tell people how you really feel. Don’t hold back, especially if it’s love. Personally, I think in order to not hurt other people I still might be inclined to fib about negative feelings, but I’d like to being less of a yes-man. Not say I’m okay if I’m not, not go out of my way to do something that will make me unhappy for the sake of making someone else happy, then say it’s all fine and dandy.
Don’t take anything personally: What other people do and say doesn’t have anything to do with you, only with them.
We all live very much in our own heads. We assume that every action everyone makes towards us is due to something we’ve done. Yet there are so many little things that happen through the day that can contribute to our mood, and if someone happens to act negatively toward you, it’s probably due to everything else that’s happened, not you.
Don’t make assumptions: Communication is key.
Very much going with the last agreement, don’t make assumptions about someone’s words or actions. If they act in a way that confuses you, ask about it. Don’t overthink what every tiny, irrelevant to you comment might mean. Ask. I am an overthinker, and I have lead myself to believe some very false things about people from overthinking some random comment they’ve made without ever talking to them about it. I need to work very hard on this agreement.
Always do your best: If you fail, that’s okay, but you have to try.
You don’t have to be the best, but you should always be your best. When it comes to these agreements and to life, it’s okay to mess up. You just have to accept it, and try again. It will take time for all of these agreements to become habit, but if you keep trying your best to be consistent in practicing them, it will happen. That’s the same for anything. If you truly want it, try your best, be okay with failure, and try again. Keep trying until you’ve done the best you possibly can.
Have you read The Four Agreements? What are your thoughts? Have you incorporated the agreements into your life? How have they affected you?